This year, I celebrated my birthday in Africa with 11 strangers and it was the hands down BEST birthday gift I could’ve given myself. I’m not saying you HAVE to go on a group trip, but I am saying if you’re thinking about it, do it.

Let's take it back a few steps. How did I end up on this trip to begin with?

I follow several travel groups, solo travelers, travel bloggers, etc on Instagram. I usually see their ads and swipe past them because the prices are high (I know you’ve seen them). Not to mention, it just seems kinda weird to go on a trip that someone else planned with people I’ve never met. I’m the planner in my travel group, so it’s very out of my element. Well, around the end of May, when I knew I was going to quit my job, I was exploring what I would do with all my extra time. I knew traveling was at the top of my list and I saw an Instagram ad for a travel group, Black Travel Fest, so I signed up for their email updates. Eventually, I saw a trip that was traveling during the dates of my birthday. I was interested, but I didn’t buy the package for it. I thought to myself about how many times a group of friends had started planning a trip, but at some point the group chat died down. I was tired of that happening and I didn’t want to waste the one year I knew I would have extended time to travel. Yet, I still didn’t buy the package for the trip. I read all the emails, embarrassingly struggled to pronounce the destination, and noted the deadlines to buy a package. I still didn’t enter the 16 magic numbers. Honestly, I was nervous about taking a risk and doing something completely out of my norm, BUT you don’t get to new places (literally and figuratively) by doing what you’ve always done. (That’s Travel Tip #4 from way back.) So on the last day before registration closed, the deadline to sign up was at 11:59pm and I conveniently remembered at 10:59pm, with exactly 1 hour to make a decision. After a slight panic, I made an “impulse” decision. I read the fine print, made sure I knew all the additional costs, and I bought a package to go on a group trip to a country I had never even heard of. I finished filling out everything with about 10 mins to spare. I surprised myself with this one. I was cheesing soooo hard.

I started to get emails about the trip, reminders for payment, etc and there wasn’t much else to it. It was so simple. The bottom line was I wanted to travel and I wanted some guarantee around my travels. I didn’t want to watch the group chat go ghost when I sent AirBnbs, hotels, or excursions. I didn’t want to wait to see who actually bought their ticket. I didn’t want to wonder if I would enjoy my trip and my birthday. I already knew that my friend group wasn’t the same as my travel group and now was my time to start acting on that. I knew that the sooner I started acting out of that headspace, the sooner I’d be able to enjoy traveling.

Travel Tip #23: Stop waiting on other people to do what YOU want.

We’ve covered the how and the why, so what did I really think of the trip? I loved it and I will be back on another trip with Black Travel Fest. I really liked the itinerary; there were lots of planned activities, but also flexibility to explore on your own. There was a good balance of social activities and time to recharge.

If you’re thinking about group travel, here’s a few things to keep top of mind to make your experience more enjoyable.

1. People are going to be late. This can be a dealbreaker for some people. I personally don’t mind because I understand that’s the nature of traveling with anyone. I expect people to be late, so I don’t get frustrated if there’s a delay. Getting frustrated doesn’t help the time pass any faster. Besides, are you really telling me you’ve never been late before?

2. Be social, but read the room. This one may require you to brush up on your social skills. Everyone on the trip is getting to know each other at the same time. If you are or are not feeling something, speak on it, appropriately. When I’m getting to know everyone, I keep it light, crack some jokes, and I remember why I’m on the trip. The group has likely never traveled together before, so it’s a new setting for everyone. If you have an issue/problem, mention it to the host off to the side. The hosts on my trip were PHENOMENAL about addressing individual and group concerns.

3. Be a team player. Group trips sometimes require group decisions. Sometimes you’ll agree with the group, sometimes you won’t. Either way, it doesn’t have to change your experience or anyone else’s. Think about how big of a deal it is to you, how you can work through it, and how you can still enjoy yourself. It may be easier to be a team player if you think about your non-negotiables ahead of time.

4. Meet new people, make new friends. You’re on a group trip, this is self explanatory. You truly never know who you’ll meet. You could meet your next best friend, your next boss, your next business partner, or your next romantic partner. Don’t be afraid to socialize! What’s the worst that could happen from carrying a conversation?

5. They don’t know you. This is the most important one to me. The people on the trip have never met you. They could’ve passed you in the store and you would’ve never known. Don’t be afraid to be whoever you want to be, because they don’t know any version of you that existed before. When we did introductions on my trip, I told the group I was retired. Like I said, they don’t know you, so have some fun with it.

I’m not a very picky or difficult traveler, I just like to travel with people who have similar interests. I don’t need to stay in the most expensive hotel or eat at a fancy restaurant every night. As long as I get to do the items on my travel list and I feel safe, I’ll make sure I enjoy myself. Group trips work for me because I get to be social with people, but I also have no tie to these people. It’s the perfect amount of attachment and non-attachment for me.

What I enjoyed about traveling in a group:

1. I made friends. I was panicking in the ticket line at JFK Airport, so I messaged in our travel group thread and made two friends who were on the trip before even boarding my first flight. We spent 8 days together, so naturally, I made some more friends during the trip. It’s hard to spend that much time together and not make friends or create memories. This group was 10000% dedicated to getting the photos right, so that also made it so easy to make friends because everyone was already rooting for each other.

2. I did everything I would’ve done if I went with anyone else. There weren’t any group votes where I was outvoted. Our activities covered a little bit of history, adventure, and culture. We also had the opportunity to relax and check out the nightlife scene. Black Travel Fest is really transparent with what you can expect on their trips. There was one activity that involved seeing mice that a few people did, but I passed on that because I do not do rodents of any kind. I literally ran when they mentioned the activity, I was more than content with down time on the beach.

3. I had space to be myself. I booked this trip with no idea of what a group trip was like, so I went in with zero expectations. This is how/why it was super easy to be myself and take everything as it came.

4. I celebrated my birthday. While I was on this trip during my birthday, I was not expecting to do anything extra. A trip halfway across the world seemed like a lot on its own, yet the group still managed to find a way to celebrate with me. A surprise desert and a late night poolside hangout to sing Happy Birthday right at midnight.

5. I felt safe 100% of the time. I was able to be by myself, but also feel safe in another country.

I’m so glad I went on this trip, it was yet another risk I took that ended with a great reward. Will I be on another group trip? Definitely. Will I explore other travel groups? Possibly. Will I take on solo travel in 2022? We’ll have to wait and see. No risk, no reward, right?

The end of the year is next week! This week, share with me a risk you took this year and the reward that came with it.

Send your responses via email, text message, or in the comments.

Stop waiting,

Mai

P.S. When it came time for the other payments for the trip, my face went from this to that, real fast.

This is a joke with a dash of seriousness, relax and laugh a little.