Let me preface this by saying I’m an adventurer. I like adventure, I like taking risks, I like new experiences. Now, if you’re more plain, that’s fine, at some point you’re going to want something and your old methods may not work.

2020 gave us all quarantine to think and reflect. So I came into 2021 wanting to be someone different than who I’ve been. I wanted to tap into my other talents. I wanted to take more photos of myself, meet new strangers, ignore phone calls, etc just a bunch of things I usually didn’t do. Now… it was insane to think that I’d be able to get these new experiences by doing the same things I’ve always done. I had friends who I could go out with to the bar, brunch, or just chill with, but they all fit the same mold. They worked a regular job (that they complained about), were pretty risk averse, introverted, and weren’t going to have much advice or encouragement to offer in the category of taking risks. Let’s be clear, there’s nothing wrong with that, it just wasn’t going to be helpful on my journey. So I had to meet new people. Strangers, if you will.

Soooo here’s a list of the strangers I’ve met who helped me tap into who I want to be:

Stranger #1: A co-worker

If you can't tell, I was not exactly the social type at work. I’m not trying to be friends and I’m definitely not going to any of the work happy hours. I don’t particularly like people at work; I’m there to do my job.

Well of course, I landed myself a role leading a brand new team, so I had to adjust my work personality. I had to do team building and really get to know them because while I’m not your li’l friend, I’m also a high achiever. I do not, cannot, and will not do anything half-ass (courtesy to my mother). I bounced around supporting different team members, until I was permanently assigned to a team member. Neither of us were particularly excited about the final assignment. We had two different personalities and two different leadership styles. But this is what I wanted, right?! SoMeThInG dIfFeReNt, RiGhT? A few weeks in and we were talking more about work, life, dating, family, etc. She was in the middle of trying to buy a house and I was moving to a new place. Before I knew it, sis had me hanging out with her OUTSIDE OF WORK. We were making trips to Ikea together, trying out new food/dessert spots, giving each other rides, and a bunch more. We started a taco tour, where we would try a new taco spot each week in search of finding the best taco places in Dallas. It was a really good time. In all the thank you and goodbye cards, we’d always joke about how we’re coworkers turned friends and I’m truly glad for it. She was helping me get to where I wanted to be without me realizing. She’s obviously an extrovert, has a background in journalism and photography, and loves her job. All things I didn't have in any of my friends before. Although I didn't go out and meet her like a traditional stranger, she was brand new at work and that’s stranger enough.

If you’re wondering, the best tacos are at Taqueria la Banqueta of Gaston Ave.

Stranger #2: Three women on a hike

I like to exercise and be with nature. That’s my peaceful place. I go on hikes or walk trails whenever I can, but especially in scenic places. I was on a trip to get away from work and take some time to think about where I was heading career-wise, so a hike was just what I needed. On the trail, I found a spot to sit, read, and watch the sunset. There were other people there, but we’re still in a pandemic, so people are respecting personal space. Well, these three women decide to position themselves less than a foot away from me. From their conversation, they were friends who just finished dinner and one was visiting from out of town. They were standing so close, it was hard to not listen in. Then one of them said something about eating maple syrup, straight, and that’s when I jumped in because…… that’s foul. I sparked up conversation from there about what they do and what brought them to the trail. Crazy enough, the three of them work in the field I’d been contemplating jumping into. The book I was reading, Master Your Emotions, sparked their conversation about their work with clients and we talked about their journey from quitting their corporate jobs to becoming entrepreneurs. They gave me a bunch of encouragement and advice about where to receive training and what they have learned about starting a business.

The old me would’ve checked them from the beginning for standing so close to me, pandemic or not. The old me would’ve never sparked up conversation. The old me would’ve left with more questions unanswered.

The old me was holding the new me back.

That night I researched trainings and started signing up for free courses to get my feet wet. When I got back to work, I told each of my bosses that I will not be returning to work. These three women, complete strangers, who stood too close to me on a hike, probably don’t know the effect of our conversation, but I’m forever thankful.

Stranger #3: A guy in the DMs

This was the best one for me to experience and no, it was not what you’re thinking. I’ve noticed that a lot of people frequently meet people online, through social media or apps. That’s not my style, at all. I prefer to see that people are who they say they are by seeing them in-person and in public. However, I do talk to people on social media, for good conversation, for community, for jokes, for debates. It’s fun. So I was on a trip (again) while on a break from work and a guy swiped up on my story with some jokes. The jokes landed well, we talked briefly and I initiated us hanging out. I went into it with the goal of making a friend. We grabbed breakfast and I came to learn that he has a natural talent for creating art and experiences. It was a cool friend date, and we went on a walk afterward where he offered to take photos of me because it was an artsy area. Remember, I had a goal of taking more photos. He didn’t know about that, it just happened naturally. We hung out a few more times and each time, he helped me learn something new from trying new foods to marketing a brand. He let me see firsthand what it’s like to create a marketing campaign from start to finish. Since we have been friends, I’ve ended up in front of the camera and behind the camera multiple times, I learned how to cook in a new way, and I brushed up on my freestyles. All things the “old me” would’ve never done, also all things that led me to start this blog and much more. It’s hard to do or be things that you’ve never seen before. It’s hard to take risks when you don’t see people take risks around you. From an innocent DM, I learned that I am creative and just like math, you don’t sharpen your skills unless you use them. You don’t learn to use them until you take a photo, design a graphic, shoot a video, write a song, write a book, etc. From an innocent DM, I gained a friend who will call me out and is always encouraging me to try something new.

Everything I claimed I didn’t do, I did. I don’t socialize with coworkers, did that. I don’t talk to strangers, did that. I don’t meet people on the internet, did that. Each of these people, technically strangers, helped me get a step closer to who I want to be, rather than who I’ve been. They’ve made me a better version of myself as a friend, as a daughter, as a sister, as the person I see in the mirror every day.

Travel Tip #4: You don’t get to new places doing things you’ve always done.

On this journey of becoming who I envision myself to be, I didn’t know I’d quit my job. All I knew was I wanted it to be different from before. I didn’t want to fall into the cycle of complaining about work Monday thru Friday and day partying on the weekend.

I needed to do something different to get to a different place. Think about something you want, big or small, then ask yourself if the people around you can help you achieve it. If they can, what else is stopping you? If they can’t, try changing things up.

You don’t have to be the same person you’ve always been.

Next time, try something different,

-Mai